you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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