I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
