we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
