If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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