If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think I died a long time ago.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
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