I'm drive I can fine osifer
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
