Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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