who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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