HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Boobs are out for the taking
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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