using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
