The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
