went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
he was CRYING into my vagina
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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