he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
