Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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