champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
