They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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