Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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