office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize