When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
