apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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