I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
