I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
