I cannot find my penis.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize