I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
