sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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