I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
