Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
