Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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