i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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