i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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