I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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