Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I wanna passion pit in your ass
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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