my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
