Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
