And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
