Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
we're so committed to being not committed
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
