it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Drunk is not a location!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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