It was confusing and full of hummus
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
