Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
