I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
