hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
