one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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