Yo dont text me then not text me
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize