i don't like sucking hair
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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