Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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