Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
