operation have a gay friend backfired
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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