Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize