i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
