Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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