At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
