Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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