so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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