I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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