awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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