i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
