I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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