Small penises have feelings too.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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