Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
