dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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