I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
