She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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