Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
