oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
