last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
