We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dear god my vagina.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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